When my kids were little, my mornings were a mess. By the time I had dropped my 3 year old at preschool and lugged my baby back and forth to the car it was 9:15am and I was ready for a nap.
Throughout the years the mornings did get better, although I could still always use a siesta. It took a lot of energy, which I don’t have a lot of, and lots of organizational skills, which I need to work hard for, but mornings are not as dreaded as they used to be.
So what did I do that worked? Here are 3 simple strategies that helped me get a handle on my mornings:
1.Be prepared:
This came as a piece of bad news for me, but I think all parents need to hear it: Our mornings start at night. More specifically, we need to start preparing for our mornings the night before. This seems to be a no-brainer, but I am tired at night. I want to relax. I have to really force myself to spend a half hour getting organized.
So now in the evenings, I try to tidy up my house, prepare lunches, backpacks, and sign homework and permission slips. I touch base with my kids to make sure that they have clean clothing ready to go.
Oh! Do not forget the shoes! We used to spend a lot of time looking for shoes. I remind my kids to put their shoes in the mudroom so there won’t be a mad dash in the mornings.
2. Feel Your Child’s Pain:
I used to get so frustrated when I would watch my kids slowly climb out of bed, one limb at a time. It was like they were made of jelly. I would think, “Why can’t they just jump out of bed? What is the big deal?” Once I started learning about the concept of empathy and how it applies to parenting, I changed my tune. I realized that I needed to put myself in their shoes. I don’t like getting out from under my warm blanket in the morning. I am certainly not one of those people who hears their alarm and jumps right up ready to start the day (Does anyone do that?). If I don’t like getting out of bed in the morning, it would stand to reason that my kids wouldn’t like it either. So, instead of accusing:
“What is taking you so long? How long are you going to lie there?”
I would empathize with them:
“It can be a challenge getting out from under those warm blankets! You look like you can use a hug!”
“Getting out of bed in the morning can be tough! Especially in the winter when its still dark out! Is there anything I can do to help?”
3. Problem Solve:
When we do have a rough morning, I try not to spend a lot of time blaming myself or my kids:
“What is with me, if I would have just remembered that I had carpool, it would have been less hectic!”
“If you would have only gotten out of bed on time, it would not have been so crazy this morning!”
Instead, I try to be objective about where I slipped up and how I can fix it in the future. Around dinner time, I also try to get my kids input:
“Guys, we had a rough morning this morning. There was a lot of yelling. What can we do to make sure it does not happen again?”
“I don’t feel like this morning went smoothly. There seemed to have been a lot of whining. What do you think we all need to do so that tomorrow morning will be calmer?”
Mornings with kids can be a challenge. It helps to work with your kids by being prepared, compassionate and open to problem solving.
Let us know how what you do to keep your mornings calm. Comment below!