Instead of telling children what not to do, tell them what they can do. This fundamental principle is the trick to communicating effectively with children especially those exhibiting oppositional behavior.
Don’t directions
“Don’t put your feet on the table”
“Don’t go in the street”
“Don’t be naughty”
“Don’t be so loud”
“Don’t be obnoxious”
“Don’t be messy “
Can-do directions
“Feet on the floor”
“Stay on the sidewalk”
“Touch the dog gently”
“Inside voice”
“Listening ears on!”
“Toys in the bin”
Sheedy Kurcinka, M. (2003). Raising Your Spirited Child Workbook. NY. Harper Collins.