After I give a class, I always reflect and sometimes even obsess over whether I gave over the information clearly and in an organized fashion. I have gone to many parenting lectures where I have come out feeling inadequate. So I worry, have I inspired and encouraged the participants or made them feel discouraged?
Last week, one of my former clients/students called me and said, “ I really wanted to take your class, but it did not work out. I want you to know that I really enjoy your classes. The other parenting classes I go to make me think of all the things I don’t do for my kids. The parent instructor seems all-knowing and perfect. I feel so incompetent and hopeless. I go home and I am mean to my kids. When I go to your classes, I feel like you really understand. You let us know that it is tough for you to parent as well. I feel validated. I go home and I am nice to my kids.”
That was a really nice call to get.
After my classes, I also remember some things that I wish I would have said during class.
What I want to talk about today is triggers.
Being tired is one of the things that trigger my anger. It is harder for me to control my temper if I have not gotten a good night’s sleep. Ditto for hungry, and being ill.
At those times, I warn my kids:
“Guys, I am _____________(not feeling well, tired, hungry). I don’t have a lot of patience right now. I am going to need a lot of cooperation now.”
It helps to give them a heads-up. They are usually pretty helpful and kind after I have let them know how I am feeling.
Stay tuned for more reflections on our “Simple Ways To Parent Without Anger” Class, available for purchase here!