In our last post we spoke about how a major part of our lives as a parent will be spent talking to your kids. The way we talk to our children will affect the way they talk to us and to the other people in their lives. Words enable us to either make or break our relationship with our children.
Here are 7 more simple tips to help you talk to your kids and parent in the most effective way possible:
7. Have catchy phrases to enforce limits:
In my son’s preschool class, his teacher had a few rhymes to help reinforce the rules she set in her classroom. One of her favorites was, “You get what you get and you don’t get upset.” Another great one, “If you hit you must sit.” And one more: “I our house, we don’t accuse we focus on solutions.
8. Prepare for leaving:
Children have a hard time leaving places they love. Make sure to give your children, 5-10 minute warnings before you head out. You can say, “I am letting you know we are leaving in 10 minutes. In 5 more minutes we will start to get ready to go.”
9. Help your child think:
Instead of saying, “Stop leaving your messes around the house!” Have your child come up with ideas on how to keep his stuff neat. You can say, “Maddy, I want you to think of where you can put all your art equipment in between classes. Let me know when you figure it out.”
10. Don’t be a detective:
Don’t ask questions like, “Who spilled all the juice and the floor and didn’t clean it up?” Whodunnit questions only lead to lying and accusations. Just describe the problem and ask for help, “Oh no! there is juice all over the floor. I need some help. We need a mop and some paper towels.” You can tell the family later, “I don’t know who spilled the juice and I don’t care. That person needs to remember in the future to clean up after themselves.”
11. Ask the right questions:
Many children have a hard time answering questions like, “What did you do in school today?” Instead you can get specific and ask, “Did you color or paint today?” Was today an art or gym day?” These questions will help your child open up and talk.
12. Give alternatives:
Instead of always saying “no” to your child, try to think of ways you can say “yes.” If they want to go to a friend’s house but the baby is sleeping, instead of saying “no”, you can say, “As soon as Max gets up from his nap I can take you to Mikey’s.”
13. Use “Can Do” directions:
Try to tell children what they can do instead of what they can’t. Children have a hard time stopping what they are doing. If we give them another option they will be more likely to respond.”
Instead of saying, “Stop twirling your hair!” you can say, “hands belong in your lap.” Instead of saying, “Stop being so wild!” You can say, “Inside is for quiet voices and quiet feet.”
14. Case closed: