Many mothers, and some fathers too, have shared with me their insecurities about parenting. The question that always comes up is,
“But am I doing this parenting thing right? Am I really a good parent?”
I don’t think that there is one right way to parent and sometimes we are great at parenting and sometimes we have some really bad days.
But I think one of our biggest problems is that we usually focus on the things we don’t do for our kids:
“I forgot to send a fruit with his lunch.”
“I didn’t make him his favorite dessert.”
“I didn’t sit with him at bedtime.”
“I didn’t fold the laundry and she has to rummage through the bin to get her socks for school!”
“I forgot to give a dose of antibiotics.”
This makes us feel so bad about our parenting. A domino effect comes into play. We focus on what we don’t do for our kids, we feel inadequate and insecure, we get into a bad mood, and then we take it out on our kids… sound familiar?
The antidote is to look at all the simple things that we already do for our kids and keep our attitude positive and upbeat. We need to give ourselves breaks, forgive ourselves for our mistakes, and move on.
What are some of the simple things that we already do for our kids that make us good parents?
Hugs and kisses
Kissing their boo-boos
Playing peek a boo
Cheering them on when they learn to walk
Taking them to the park
Feeding them
Bathing them
Waking them up for school with a smile
Tucking them in at night
Making them brush their teeth
Loving your spouse
Doing the laundry
Celebrating their birthdays
Listening to them tell a story
Laughing at their jokes
Watching movies with them
The list can go on and on…
And instead of beating ourselves up about what we didn’t do:
“I forgot to send a fruit with his lunch.”
“I didn’t make him his favorite dessert.”
“I didn’t sit with him at bedtime.”
“I didn’t fold the laundry and she has to rummage through the bin to get her socks for school!”
“I forgot to give a dose of antibiotics.”
Focus on what we did do:
“I sent him lunch.”
“I made dessert.”
“I tucked him into bed. Last night, I had time to sit with him and tomorrow night I will make sure to do that.”
“I did the laundry. Her socks were clean.”
“I took him to the doctor when he was sick.”
You get the point.
So from this Mother’s Day forward, let’s focus on what we do right instead of what we do wrong. We will all be much happier!
