I was with my friend and her family the other day. Her daughter whined, “Mommeeee, I want to go home.” She said, “Allie can you change your voice, can you ask in a regular voice for what you want?”
In an instant, Allie, restated her request in a non-whiny voice. She said in a grown up way, “Mommy, I want to go home.”
Whining is one of those behaviors that drives parent’s crazy. The best way to stop the whining is to do what Allie’s Mom did.I liked her approach a lot. Instead of saying to Allie, “Stop whining!” she had taught Allie how to modulate her voice and that she was capable of improving her behavior.
If that doesn’t work for you, there are other similar ways that we can help kids to stop whining.
We can:
1. Name their feelings:
“Sara, it seems like you want my attention. That voice that you are using lets me know that you need me right now. Can you use your regular voice to say, “Mommy, I need your attention!”
2. Gently tell your kids whining bothers you:
“That voice is hurting my ears. It is hard for me to hear you when you use that voice.”
3. Declare “whine free” zones:
“Today we are going to ‘Fun and Stuff’. In order for us to have a good day, we need to know that there will be no whining. If you need to whine, save it for tomorrow when we are at home.”
If they do whine at “Fun and Stuff”, you can say, “Remember today is a “whine free” day. Tomorrow is when I can listen to whining. Today you have to use a regular voice the whole day.”
4. Catch them being good:
When they are not whining, praise them for using a regular voice:
5. Give yourself a break:
I know that sometimes I can handle massive doses of whining and other times even the slightest squeak can send me over the edge. Make sure you let your kids know what kind of mood your in:
“Right now I can’t listen to any whining at all. Please change your voice or ask for what you need in writing.”
Whining is tough to handle. It can rattle even the most effective parents. The suggestions above can help you limit the amount of whining you need to deal with in your home.
2 Responses
Another hint from a former teacher and grandmother of nine – help stop whining in a fun way! Frequently it helps for children to be read fun-stories that illustrate the unpleasantness of bad behavior and ways to correct it. For instance, sometimes children don’t understand how annoying the sound of whining can be. “Peter and the Whimper-Whineys” is a story of a little rabbit who does nothing but whine. This rhyming book should be read with alternating normal voice and whining voice, according to the character speaking. Children learn that Whimper-Whineyland is not a fun place to be, not just for all the whining and crying that goes on but for all the other bad behavior and unpleasant character traits exemplified!!! My three year old grandson loves the book, and repeats “no more whining, no more crying!” I hope that this book might help your child as well as it has helped my children and grandchildren
That is a great idea! Stories are one of the best ways to connect with kids and teach them good manners. Thanks so much for posting!