I generally avoid helping kids with their homework or even studying.
I hate to say this, but even with my younger kids, I don’t even know when their tests are. I have a very hands off approach to school.
Once in a while, if asked, I will help my kids study for a test. Most of the time, they do it themselves or I encourage them to study with a friend.
I will make an exception for spelling tests. I will happily agree to help my kids with their spelling tests, because it is kind of tricky to do that yourself.
When we do study together I still try to encourage responsibility and independence. I will say things like:
“I noticed you missed the words “niece” and “piece”. You might want to review the i before e except after c, rule.”
“Spelling words can be tricky, sometimes it helps to write the word, sound it out and imagine the word in your head. Those are three ways to help you get familiar with the spelling of words.”
I know I have mentioned this before, but it bears repeating. If they get a bad grade on any of their tests, I don’t get angry. I try to use it as an opportunity to encourage them to have responsibility for their schoolwork,
“Oh, you seem upset about your grade. Sometimes it helps to think about what you got wrong and how you can study better the next time.”
What do you think?
Am I too laid back about school work?
Comment below!
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2 Responses
Adina,
Found your website through Power of Moms.
I really relate to this post. I have four children (14, 13, 10, 7) and have always taken your approach. Our children have not just done ok, they have really excelled. I used to have a friend call me often about school when our kids were in 3rd grade. She would go on and on and most of the time I would not even know what assignments she was talking about. I finally stopped answering the phone!
We have been struggling this year with our freshman son. He is struggling in school for the first time ever and it is SO hard to find the balance between how we want to parent and the pressure we feel to help him do well. Ugh! I leaves me in tears almost every day!
Love your website. What a great service you provide.
Thank you so much. I am glad you are enjoying. I appreciate your comments!