I know that I am always looking for great ways to engage my kids cooperation. I know from the questions that I receive that many parents are on the lookout for some great skills to use to help their kids listen. The other day I sent out a link to a post about a simple way to better communicate with your kids. The author, Melanie Miller, recommended using the word the phrase, “I notice” to point out what your child needs to do instead of the usual nagging, accusing, blaming that we sometimes resort too.
I had the opportunity to use this helpful technique today.
Instead of:
“Why can’t you remember to put your shoes in the mudroom?”
I said:
“I notice you left your shoes in the front hall.”
Instead of:
“You guys never take care of our DVD’s that we borrow from the library!”
I said:
“I noticed that these DVD’s need to be put in their cases.”
Instead of:
“Will you take a shower already!!!”
I said:
“I noticed that you have not showered yet. I noticed that it is 7pm and you said you were going to shower at 6:30pm.”
Instead of:
“You had enough junk today!”
I said:
“I noticed that you are eating a cookie and you already had lots of treats today.”
I really like this one. Actually, I think I love this phrase, “I notice”. It makes me sound calm, rational and even quite dignified. I also see that my kids really respond well to this type of language. This is another great technique to add to my toolbox.