Instead of: Focus on the positive:
It is the season of giving, or so the commercials say. So whatever holiday that you are celebrating, you might be pausing to think, what is the best way to teach my kids to givers and not takers.
1. Be A Giver:
The best way to teach your children anything is not by lecturing but by role modeling. That means that you need to strive to be the person you would like them to be. (No pressure, kids will forgive your imperfections, if you forgive them theirs). If your kids see you giving of your time and your energy to the people around you they will probably become givers just be osmosis. That will become their standard for normal, appropriate behavior.
You can let them know in a conversational sort of way of the acts of giving that you do:
“I am going to give a call to Mrs. Smith. Older people who live alone can get real lonely sometimes. They can use someone to talk to.”
“The Jones’ just had a baby. I know they can use some help. I am going to make them some dinner.”
2. Reinforce Giving Behavior:
Another great way to teach your children giving behavior is to praise kids for the times you see them being a giver. Don’t point out the times when they are acting selfish, instead, be on the lookout for any little act of kindness, consideration and giving on their part. Point it out to them. Try to ignore the times that they are unkind. I know you have heard this from me before but it is a great principle to review: When we give attention to a kid’s negative behavior we inadvertently reinforce their negative behavior. When we only focus on their positive behavior we reinforce their positive behavior. It takes a while to retrain our brains to look for the positive but it is well worth the effort.
For example:
“You shared your donut with your brother. That is called being considerate.”
“You let your sister have some extra time on the computer even though it was your turn. That is called being kind.”
“You let Danny borrow your football. That is what a giving neighbor does.”
For more great tips like these, join our “Parenting Simply” workshop!
What do you do in your house to encourage giving behavior?
We would love to hear from you!
One Response
In my home I give to the giving tree at my churc, I donate clothing and some money. This year
I had my Girl Scout troop make Christmas cards for a local nursing home.
I sometimes think making or having a list of giving options helps.