Good Parenting:Deliver Empathy Instead Of Snide Remarks

When the Wii first came out my 2 older boys begged us for it. I did my research and found that many experts in many different fields gave the Wii a big thumbs up. The Wii was good for cardiovascular health, building muscle, improving balance, and not only that, it was helpful in fighting childhood obesity. A win/win situation. I gave the boys my blessings to buy the Wii. They saved up their Chanukah and birthday money and bought it themselves.

At the time we were all excited and used it often. I slowly realized it was great for the winter days, but on beautiful spring and summer days, I felt they should play outside. We tried to shut it down come May. We are not always successful.

Today, it was a beautiful day but my son wanted to play on the Wii. He does have a half hour of electronic time that he is allowed to use to play the Wii. So I can’t really say, “No, you can’t play on the Wii for electronic time. You need to watch TV or  use the computer.” That would be a weird duplicitous message.

At any rate, my son was looking for triple A batteries to replace the dead ones in the controllers. He could not find the big package that we bought from Costco last week. Ergo, he could not play on the Wii. He was pretty upset.

I really wanted to say a few things,

  • “Well, maybe now you will go and play outside like real kids do.”
  • “I can’t believe you lost the batteries already. You are so irresponsible.”
  • “Why do you need to look for this now- go find something else to do. It’s no big deal. It’s not like the washing machine broke down!” (A washing machine on the blink is one of my biggest nightmares!)

But I didn’t.  I just empathized:

  • “You really wanted to play and now you are having trouble finding the batteries.”
  • “It can be so annoying to look and not find what you are looking for- you look really frustrated.”
  • “You were looking forward to playing with the Wii and beating your high score.”

He never found the batteries but at least there were no power struggles, snide remarks or temper tantrums. Being empathetic is one of the best parenting skills around!

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